sometimes i just wanna let out this mountain of emotion within my weary self. i wanna release every hurt, every pain, every insecurity and abandon it. as long as it's still there...residing in my heart, I cannot breathe deep, I cannot see clear, or think straight. i feel overwhelmed and unsure. my direction and compass breaks down...fades out of the picture that used to be clear. i want to run away...but my heartache would always appear on every side...I cannot escape what lives inside. it needs to be dissected out of me. freedom from within. liberty to control my thoughts, actions and my reactions. i want a change. a renovation. i keep losing...where can i find what i lost? the strength to speak from my heart. i need to decide who i am today. i wanna be love.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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2 comments:
This blog is beautiful. I found great connection to the way you expressed your emotions. Nehemiah said, "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." That can seem void and empty of comfort when we've lost the joy in our lives. Paul struggled with a thorn that he asked the Lord to remove from him. God responded, "My grace is sufficient for you." (2 Corinthians 12) I realized one day that the joy of the Lord wasn't dependant on there not being struggles but was found in the midst of struggles. The joy of the Lord is that He loves us inspite of and in the midst of our imperfections. His grace is sufficient for you and His love does and will shine through you.
Praying for you! One of my fav verses, I have posted in my office. I love the book of Pslams "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46
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